The Crazy 45

As a tribute to my first follower I shall begin with his lines

All the girls sang, murg u r the man,
pride fills..he kicks with no frills,Voila..The Murg's got his balls on a grill..

Well now that the intro is up and running we all know who this post is going to be about!!The Prince of Saudi!

The title has been inspired by the Tarantino flick 'Kill Bill' which features the 'crazy 88'. Murugan Ramasamy also known as Murgi/Murugaa/(name kept by watso which i cant type here)/Crazy 45.

When I met him for the first time in 9th he said he (claimed?) he got 98 in some subject.Me being a very average student at that point used to think high marks were awesome and there was some awe on my part (word play biatch!).But I do not like nerds on a side note.

But he reminded me of a nerdy,goody-to-shoes, overly talented(he said he played football football FOR Saudi)....on hindsight maybe he said in...but ppl will vouch that he said FOR saudi.I thought ...'Great another nerdy Sambar..sitting next to Kassssstor(thats a whole different blog machan!).

We went out to play football and I kept an Eye on our hero to see his Arabic football skills.

Brilliant!!!!Mesmeric!!!!Ronaldoesque!!!!Football in its purest form.

This is what I expected.Instead I saw a guy running around like a duck with his hands weirdly close to his body.I don run great myself but this was actually funny!And then KK did something legen............dary.

He called for the ball and called him 'MURGIIIIIIIIII'.There was no looking back.For posterity the stylish French name Mourougane became amputated to Murgi.(sounds a lot like a 2-min noodle...ouch did I really say that??).

The name stuck

Murgi had struck

With out a cluck

he was in bad luck

cuz he met me,

the big mean f***

And thus began our lil friendship which I am honestly happy went till SBOA and Anna nagar.No place for sappy emotion!!!Let the ripping continue...

Then Murgi Met .....

ek ladki ko dekha tho aisa lagaaa,

jaise chilta ghulab

manzil mein ho meri...

If I could sing those classics I wouldn be writing this blog.Anyhow Murgi met this Girl who was sitting next to me.And Murgi developed a wierd paralytic problem which I medically suspect as .....um.......

and he wore a collar.

He sat in front of us and had to turn around to talk to us.So with the collar I thought it would be tough but no...Murgi is made of firmer stuff.Collar or concrete he will go thru it.So there he was turning 45 degree everytime and making my neck pain but still managing to talk to Her!!

The Crazy 45!!!

The Story of my Noooooose...

Well this is the story that many people have asked me about and I just smiled at them.I mean 'Come on!',you meet a bald guy and do you ask him 'Dude, why are you balding?'(well that has happened to me).Anyway the story does have the usual syndrome associated with me.Or rather as some would say... reeks of 'Prem'!

circa 2000 A.D?Now this date I am not sure.Yeah sometimes even I get speechless!Now we meet some more members of the very esteemed crew!

He was always merry=gay

together we entered the writer's fray

but it never quite worked that way

His name was KK...

Yeah...KK of the Kishore Kumar singing fame...the boy with the handkerchief.We both had this habit of trying to write books.We had a lot of ideas and wrote a lot of titles!Sadly thats all they remained....just titles.Never panned out.But then again today he writes for one of India's biggest newspapers and I am .....well writing my blog!But then you are reading it,so who is in a worse state?

He taught us to roll a fag

Even though he had jet-lag

The East Coast Rollers we brag

Oh yeah, its Jag

Jaidev aka Jug head aka Jag,well as part of the 'Quartet' we shared quite a lot in common but then Jag was rather unique in this bunch. Well for starters he was the first guy who used to constantly pull my leg!But not the last(cliche!)....At that time I was of course painfully shy!I like to claim that I still am.

The 'Woodhouse' was our common hang out.It was of course just an overturned tree in front of the KG block but what the hell,it was a nice name for a nice place.The mentioned event took place in this setting.I suffer from what is commonly called foot-in-the-mouth syndrome.That day I had a spell and I said something to the effect of 'I can beat you easily in a wrestling match Kk.'

KK looked at me and with that usual style delivered his comeback "Its not the size of the man in the fight.... " blah blah(You know that one).Then we decided to settle it man to man with Jag being the referee.

The fight began in god earnest in the sandpit in front of KG block(also famous for the kabbadi incident).I flew like a butterfly and tried to sting like a bee,but it didnt quite work out.Kk neatly avoided my punches and did something that caught me by surprise!He used the palm of his hand and brought it down like a sledgehammer on my nose...I could not fly out of that one!BHAM!!It landed,I was in pain.

I recovered from the shock shrugged off the pain and gave one K.O punch that sealed the win for me and wiped the smirk of his face and went down like a champion.

That would have been an ideal ending for the chapter would it not?

But alas,it did not happen.I fell down with the pain and Kk pinned me down as Jag gleefully counted to three and I ended up losing the match,injuring my dignity and my nose has never been straight since then.

Y did The Murg cross the Road?

And there I was..looking at her and then it happened she made the inevitable journey to the bench which was now quickly being covered by me and took her inevitable next to the inevitably closely sitting me.

A slow smile broke out in my mind as I continued to look straight ahead....mission mission...And then the inevitable happened....

The stupid aforementioned 'friend' made a totally unnecessary appearance and called Her.For one hopeful moment I looked on wondering if there was a God up above...Apparently we had all woken up before him.She looked at me gave a grimace and moved of to sit with that needless person!I didnt know the word then,but if I had I would surely have said 'U gotta be unprintable kidding me' or some such thing.

But there is a hero to this story.-drum roll- -cymbals-

The world sang

The bells rang

Utensils began to clang

The Murg* drinks Tang

Yes after that totally useless limerick made up in the middle of a rather strange night the hero is Murg* .He did finally find out her name but then it did not matter.She then moved to a different batch.Fate?Ah well all is well that ends well.

Anyway it was a unprintable close call coz later on I found that She had issues...Yes yes I know what you males(the dominant species) are thinking...which women has no issues??But still you would want to avoid the chillies and least take on 'molagaa bajji' right?

But it was significant because I did learn what it meant to have a crush, as it would prove important very soon for some very significant changes to happen.

The 9th also marked one very significant date!!A tryst with destiny..that fateful moment in every boy's life.The keystone moment where he morphs from a boy to a man.

GOod guess.....the first time I saw porn!

*-All characters in this story are fictional.Any resemblances to real people or events is incidentally accidental.

The Girl In White

The sweat ran down our skin,I panted from exhaustion!My eyes lit up at the sight of her!The darkness around made her stand out and I devoured her with my eyes.

It was 5 am in Srimathi tuition on a rather sweaty dawn.I was still rather tired and sweaty after cycling from home.Murg sat next to me and we were tryin to figure out the 10th standard math in our 9th summer hols(yeah bitch!This is India!),but it may as well have been Astro-Quantum-Physics as they all flew past me in a blur.

The Murg of course (who is adept at A-Q-P) was of course on fire tryin to answer the questions and get his name on the board as the first person to get it write...yep competition to get on board!That was one crazy time of life...getting up at dawn and headin for a tuition so we can stay ahead of the race!Yes go to a tuition with 100 ppl per batch!

This however proved to be the setting of an iconic event in my life!Till then I had scoffed at the love-at-first-sight theory,and people who believed in it.This would prove me wrong.

As the Math continued to zip above my head and my lids were getting heavy with sleep She came.The first time I saw her I knew this was a battle I had lost.My eyes lit up.My breath caught!I felt the blood rush to my heart(seri seri over build up...).I did feel a surge of excitement unlike any I felt till now.

She had a sharp nose ,braces(which I think is real cute!) and the prettiest smile yet to be undone to this day and this time She was wrapped in a White salwar.Note the food metaphor...I now believed....in love-at-first-sight duh!

The first time I saw her was that day,in the may of 2001...after that she became almost the single reason for my 9th standard brain to attend Srimathi tuition.Everyday I sat in the bench facing the girls side knowing She would come.And She dindnt disappoint, She always had that smile on her face after she walked in,not for me of course,but for her friend who always was a constant companion.

Two weeks passed ,a crazy two weeks which would be the harbinger for many such escapades later.Every day the same...Quickening of pulse,needless smiling,nervous excitement,seemingly in a hurry all until she made her entrance..

Her dress like cream

The girl of many my dream

I think I jus did plagiarism!!The Author of the above lines gave me the copyrights though!

She is a girl

Who sends me in a whirl!

Now those..ARE my lines.But that was for a different girl!

The pattern continued until one fine day I woke up and decided today was the day!A new star will be born!I combed my hair that day after pouring half a bottle of coconut oil obviously.Looked in the mirror decided I looked the best I could.Gobbled down a breakfast of idli and was steeling myself for my infant steps into the jungle of love.

I rode to tuition singing 'Best Of me' by BA inside my head.I was a man with a mission,I was going to talk to her.She had eluded me this long but today I would find her name and talk to her or at the very least smile at her.COURAGE!GUTS! things I spectacularly lack!I was really really shy at that time.

I entered the classroom and scouted for the best position.....and I found it.Back row of the girls section.I headed there, much to the suprise of the Murg whose genius mind prevented him from involving in such petty issues.I was noticed however by Messrs Abishek Sarkar and co who find me moving into their territory rather funny.I did take my seat and tried to keep my legs from shaking.

Pulse quickened.nervous excitement you get the drift....the place next to me was empty on the bench and the class was fillin gup fast but still no sign of Her.The Mission was headin in a good direction.I had a seat with half the bench empty,She still had not shown up and the class was getting full.

You are still reading this blog so I assume you belong to the class who cannot fathom The Mission.It was to get her to sit next to me,then take courage from stores I did not possess and ask her name while not tryin to appear too wierd.Simple.

I 'felt' her coming even before I saw her.She came in wearing her Brown school uniform and looked around like a deer lookin for water.She saw the only place vacant next to me.My heart was doing flips!I knew this was the moment.....

The Players...

Well here goes nothing...something I have been promising to do for a long time.So finally here begins the story of my life so far.Why,you may ask...?Well for no reason apart from the fact that I am jobless at this point of time and I once said I will write it.

Am I a footballer-who-had-an-affair-and-wants-nobody-to-know-so-i-wrote-a-book?NO.Am I an actor?NO.Am I even famous?NO!Is this worth reading?...well you guessed right..YES!(ummm....)

Anyhow this is a brief introduction of the ppl who will be makin appearances in this story(which will follow no particular pattern)

P:Yours truly!need i say more??(Prevolga,Hot lips,Pom,Pamu)

T: Suave,Charming,my oldest friend!

J:The Eternal Romeo who rendered hits like 'Sheeeeeee'l be loved';Lips of an Angel;Tera Mera Rishta

M:Stud Of Saudi,Friend of the Fallen,Brother of.....

More and More ppl will make their entrances but like Tamil film style they will get their own intros with songs and navel-showing heroines(who aint thin!)...

If you made it this far,I got two words for you.....

'Good Luck'